smile bc i said so bitch

mujimakjihan:

if you wanna take the mbti test, i recommend this one bc its worded very simply

also a tip: answer based on what you naturally wanna do or what you naturally prefer, dont answer based on what youre forced to do

crossedstirrups:

houseofhanover:

funnyorwtf:

Saw this on a door at work.

the lights are agog # the ceiling’s aghast # is the desk drawer in love at last?

need to reblog this again for those tags

  • me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
  • me driving: say your prayers

evincibly:

am I the only one who looks at every grape before I eat it 

dumbasschronicles:

catesstrophe:

today a dude slammed my finger on accident because he was closing a metal drawer i had my fingers in and i was on drive through and i literally screamed into the headset and the lady just kept ordering her drink as i was trying to hush down three different LOUD MEN SAYING “OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE DO TO YOUR HAND”

she just kept going 

i screamed into a headset and she just kept going

working in customer service

apatheticghost:

Misogynists HATE her! Local woman is woman

slymoose:

(·̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿·̿ ̿)

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

image

  • start a boy band:

image

  • spot some choice booty:

image

  • break into song:

image

  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

image

  • attend a metal show:

image

  • listen to some sick jams:

image

  • discover zombieism:

image

  • sample some tasty snacks:

image

  • watch someone get burned bad:

image

  • find something you really like:

image

  • find something you really, really like:

image

  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

image

  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image

tinalikesbutts:

Okay never say that period pains aren’t that bad because one time I had an ovarian cyst that burst before they found it, and when the doctor saw how big it was, he asked me, “How were you not screaming in pain?”

And my response was, “Oh, I thought they were just cramps.”

snorlaxatives:

MY CITY GOT A NEW STREETCAR SYSTEM AND IM SCREAMING AT THIS HEADLINE

lambylin:

*blacklists a user*

*shows up on my recommendations*

*shows up on my recommended dash*

*shows up at my birthday party*

fasterfood:

i dont care what you say there is nothing more stressful than wanting to have a conversation with someone but having absolutely NOTHING to say

zackisontumblr:

If anybody asks if they know you from somewhere, look them in the eyes and say, “Do you watch porn?”

bitchesaloud: