smile bc i said so bitch

lvrnemalvo:

monobeartheater:

arcticmowsy:

aerostarmonk:

The man entered his home and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in the house.

oh my god

i just do not understand this post what even

OH MY FUCKING GOD

johnlockshipsdestiel:

officialprincewilliam:

officialprincewilliam:

can a dinosaur even get more fuckin rad?

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you bet jurassican

i am so impressed by that dinosaur and that pun congratulations

cumber-bitches:

"NO MUM GET OUT MY ROOM. NO. I KNOW THAT BOTTLE IS EMPTY. YES I KNOW. NOOO! PUT IT DOWN. PUT. IT. DOWN. I LIKE THAT BOTTLE THERE. I DON’T CARE THAT IT’S EMPTY. LEAVE MY ROOM PLEASE. NO STOP TOUCHING STUFF. OH MY GOD JUST LEEEAVVVVEEEEE."

arcticmokeys:

doncasturbate:

Hannah Montana wasn’t /that/ great

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penis-hilton:

me dying

fedswatching:

pour one out to the neopets we left for dead

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hellaoptile:

you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face

times-like-these7:

sorelatable:

If your name is on one of these I just wanna let you know your parents are basic bitches with no creativity

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Sounds like someone’s sad they couldn’t find their name on a coke bottle

jaclcfrost:

"why do you like floral prints so much" because i’m not a person. secretly i’m just a mass of bees. trying to blend in with humans. unable to let go of my love of flowers

nedsseveredhead:

I feel so proud when friends tell me their parents like me. Like damn right they do, I am a delight.

Anonymous:

Why did you make a Tumblr?

tortillah:

thats a really good question

  • me at age 12: ew older men
  • now: wow he's only 30?

fredsavageiii:

this whole exchange was golden

flamebroiler:

when you order regular fries and you get a few curly fries

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